About!

When I was 17, I moved to New York City to become a dancer/performing artist.  About three weeks into the prestigious training program I attended, I was advised to lose weight.  So I did.  Over the course of my first year, by restricting my diet and 0ver-exercising, I lost about 20 pounds, or over 15% of my already-normal body weight.  Some people told me I looked good, and some people told me I looked skinny–they were the same thing to me.  Then one teacher told me I looked “too skinny.”

So I ate.  I binged and restricted, on and off, for years, gaining back the weight I had lost and then yo-yoing back and forth between the same 15-20 pounds.  I knew I had a problem, but I didn’t know how to even begin to talk about it.  I journaled, though, and eventually told one friend, and he helped me realize I needed help.

I went to my first OA meeting in October of 2009, 4 years after my eating disordered behaviors began.  At first I approached OA with the same off-and-on mentality I had learned by abusing myself.  Then, in February 2010 I stopped digging and got back into the rooms.  I recommitted myself to the 12 steps, started this blog, and have been taking things one day at a time ever since.

It gets easier every time I tell my story.  Thanks for reading, and if you relate, or if you keep a blog about an eating disorder, post a comment so we can share our experiences in recovery together.